Do you want to join an exciting new company and make a difference? (We’re a startup, we suck, we need help)
We have an immediate need for a Senior (They have no idea what this is) Architect / Developer / Engineer / DBA / Analyst for a fun (Insane) 3-6 month project (They don’t know how long stuff should take) as a contractor (Because for some reason they don’t see a long term need for this bargain guru)
Must have a Bachelors Degree in Computer Science, have 12 years of professional experience in the IT industry, 5 years experience in our specialized industry, know all the web languages, all the scripting languages, know all of the C++, Alphabet++, Be an expert in Unix, Windows, Linux, and Mac OSX, 5 years as a manager. (Someone who perfectly fits the position that we can’t define, who works for a company that is virtually a clone of ours even thought that would mean they too are bankrupt.)
Salary: $20 - $30 / hour DOE (Depending on your experience you’ll get paid like a trucker. Despite our requirements for a gates / wozniak / jobs in their early days hybrid)
(Maybe we aren’t willing to pay what it will take to get our company out of the ditch. Lets just continue to treat our IT personnel like they are a bunch of high school geeks with no need for compensation because they do this stuff for fun anyways. Besides, our company is built on Fill_in_the_blank_here_ our web prescence / network / database / email / security isn’t our top priority.)
You wouldn’t believe how true this is. Of course it has sarcasm and exageration, but people are seriously kidding themselves. IF they ever fill some of these positions they will get someone who is either lying like a politician, or someone who is desperate for some reason. Why would you do this to yourself? Has anyone learned from Googles example yet? Do these people still reject the VCR? I want to run a company someday… one the main purposes being so that I can implement the hiring methodologies that I believe in so firmly…